Posted in Post A Week Challenge

Family Fun Days

I can’t believe it’s taken me almost a week to write this post, or that it’s been a week since I last blogged. To say that life has been a bit crazy is a complete understatement. Don’t get me wrong, it’s all good stuff…well, mostly anyway. I gave a bit of a sneak peek with my blog on Saturday but that was more of an experiment than an actual blog. I really wanted to see how my mobile WordPress worked so thanks so much for those of you who checked in on my completely random posts that day.

Our weekend got off to a great start Saturday morning. We began our adventure by attending the Tampa Bay Rays Fan Fest. Unfortunately, this was not the fun filled event we remembered from years past. The last time we went to Fan Fest, the Rays weren’t such a great team and the number of people in attendance was probably a tenth of the number that attended Saturday’s event. This is great for the Rays and Tampa Bay, but not so great for us. Also, the kids were younger so activities like running the bases and face painting got them really excited. Not so much now.  There just weren’t a lot of activities for the 9 and 11 year olds to take part in so we cut our trip to Tropicana Field pretty short. Of course, we did get Danny to be silly for at least one picture.

We left Fan Fest and headed to downtown St. Pete. This is one of my most favorite places and Gil and I even plan to live there after Daniel graduates high school. Until then, we are pretty much married to the New Tampa/Wesley Chapel area so that we can be close to the kids and there for all of their extracurricular activities.

The next hour or so was almost like being in heaven for me. Gil and kids went for a walk to Haslam’s Book Store while I browsed Silk Road Needlepoint. I had not been in a needlepoint shop in years and it was like a flood of memories came over me and my creative juices just started flowing like a river. I wanted to stitch all of the beautiful hand painted canvases and I longed to hold and feel each of the hundreds of fibers lining their walls. I have got to get a grip on my life so that I can make time to stitch again. It really is the most therapeutic thing I’ve ever done and being in that shop Saturday was a great big reminder of how much I miss it.

After we grabbed some lunch, we went for a walk toward The Pier. We never quite made it all the way to the end because we were completely distracted by the beautiful little beach along the way. We just sat there and relaxed for what seemed like hours. The kids played in the sand and threw the ball around. It was such a beautiful day and solidified one of the many reasons why we choose to live in Florida.

Our next stop for the day was at the St. Pete Times Forum for the Tampa Bay Lightning vs. the Florida Panthers hockey game. It was Natalie’s first ever hockey game and she really seemed to enjoy it. Gil spent a good bit of time during the game explaining the rules and answering all of her questions. I think both of the kids had a good time. Me…not so much. I like to watch hockey but we had seats in the 300 level of the arena and I don’t do so good up there. I don’t mind the height so much as the angle of the seats. I’ll be honest in that as long as I was sitting down, I had no problems, but the minute I went vertical, my whole world started swaying. I really hate it up there and it kind of made for an unpleasant experience for me each time I had to get out of my seat. I thought maybe I could make it work but I’m pretty sure that I’ll have to avoid all future events in which I can only get the nosebleed seats.

When the game was over, we headed out of the arena to see the band Tonic perform live in the plaza just outside. Unfortunately, the long day and our pure exhaustion kept us from enjoying the show so we headed home. Besides, we needed to recharge for the next day’s events.

Sunday morning came and off we went to the Florida State Fair. Woo Hoo…..time for rides and crowds and skeery people and fried foods and carnies and more fried foods and…okay, you get the picture. I really don’t have a lot to say about this day so I’ll just show you with some of the shots from our adventure.  We had a blast but thank goodness Monday was a holiday because I was completely pooped by Sunday night. It was exhausting but the fun and laughter we shared those two days made it all worthwhile. It’s not often that we get to hang out so much doing quality stuff so for me, it was a perfect weekend.  

Yes, that IS Gil's head at the back of the coaster.
The kids are there somewhere.

Check out this video of the kids in the giant plastic balls. It’s pretty funny. And really gross when you think about all the cooties living in those giant germ incubators.

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Posted in BlogSwap, Post A Day Challenge, Sports

Wrestling with the Idea of Chivalry

Tonight’s blog topic is a shock even to me. Whoever in a million years thought that I would be blogging about sports? Certainly not me. However, there was a story on ESPN.com today that I can’t just let go of. It is the story of a high school boy, Joel Northrup, in Iowa who chose not to wrestle a female opponent, Cassy Herkelman, in their state championship tournament. In a public statement released through the boy’s school, he said, “Wrestling is a combat sport and it can get violent at times. As a matter of conscience and my faith I do not believe that it is appropriate for a boy to engage a girl in this manner. It is unfortunate that I have been placed in a situation not seen in most other high school sports in Iowa.” I don’t know about you, but I feel for the kid. The decision to default to Cassy cannot have been an easy one.

Gil shared this article earlier today in the social media world and the shit storm started almost immediately. When Gil posted the story, he commented by saying that “chivalry is alive in Iowa”. Chivalry?  For me, chivalry is the knight on a white horse battling dragons and demons for my honor and soul. Chivalry is passing me the umbrella while you stand in the rain. It’s dropping me at the front door while you park a mile away and it’s holding my purse for me at a baseball game while I tie my shoe. When I privately challenged Gil’s choice of wording, he quickly responded with the definition of chivalry from Dictionary.com as “courteous behavior, especially towards women”. Eh, I’m still not buying into it. I prefer my mental image of chivalry to this boring definition.

The back and forth discussion continued with the kid being called sexist and Gil responding that “He was conscientious of the matter & concerned about hurting her”. I read this and just hung my head. In my mind, he had just confirmed the sexist theory. It was the “concerned about hurting her” part that got me. In my opinion, that girl won many matches to get where she was, they are in the same weight class and she was well aware of the dangers of the sport. Yet, Cassy chose to be there and more than that, she obviously deserved to be there. The risk to this girl was no greater than the risk to any boy he was competing against. Or was it?

Gil and I had a chance to discuss this later in the afternoon and we have agreed to disagree (three words that top my pet peeve list of phrases). Gil and I agree that Northrup was in a difficult position. Let’s say he did challenge the girl and she was injured. Can you imagine the public outcry and crucifixion of this child for fighting her in the first place? My question is, did the boy not fight her because he was afraid of hurting her or did he not fight her because he feared the public massacre that would surely come if he did hurt her?

Some of the Twitter arguments against Gil’s opinion were that girls and boys should be treated equally. This is the one that I completely disagree with. We are different. Our bodies are different. We may not like it and try to overcome it at times, but we are different. In reviewing over thirty world records in both track and field and swimming, across both men’s and women’s results, had there been no differentiation made by gender, not once would a woman have held the record for that event. This doesn’t mean that women are inferior or that we can’t compete against men. We can. There is no question about it. Women can be and are great athletes.

Why does it become an issue of sexism and inferiority to say that women should compete against women in some sports? If Florence Griffith-Joyner had been forced to race against Carl Lewis at the 1988 Seoul Olympics, she would have never won a gold medal. As a matter of fact, if she had raced against the men in the 100m, she would have come in 7th place. Would Dara Torres have any medals if she had been slotted against Michael Phillips? That’s a big fat no. Why is it so wrong to favor our participation in a group of fellow athletes that more closely align with our own abilities?

Now, in my defense, I’m all for the woman who wants to compete against a man. If you have the physical strength and fortitude to do that, then by all means go for it. I guess this is exactly what  Heckelman is doing in Iowa. She has proven her ability and she should be allowed to go up against any of the boys in her weight class. If this girl has the desire and is good enough, the boys should be willing to square off against her. I wish her luck and I hope she does get the opportunity to prove she is a worthy opponent.

Since this whole discussion started earlier today, I’ve had the opinion that Northrup did not default to Heckelman for any of the reasons discussed earlier. I read his statement over and over and I came to the conclusion that this boy was not wrestling her because of his faith. He said as much, but it was buried in the statement so that it doesn’t stand out. He mentioned combat, violence, his faith and improper engagement with this girl in his reasoning for refusing to wrestle. To me, he’s saying that he refused to engage in a manner that puts her in a violent situation. He is refusing to fight her. I believe there is an underlying belief system that tells this boy to respect women, not fight them. I think that he chose not to wrestle with Cassy, not because he’s afraid of hurting her or because he feels she’s incapable of being a worthy opponent, but out of respect for her and for girls and women in general. Wrestling is a very intimate sport that requires a pretty significant amount of touching. Maybe Joel was uncomfortable with the idea of touching this teenage girl in inappropriate places. Maybe his thought process was that it would be embarrassing for her and for him.

Huh. Maybe Gil was right. Maybe it was chivalry all along.

(41/365)

Posted in Post A Day Challenge

Valen-What?!?

Gil and I don’t celebrate Valentine’s Day. We celebrate our Valenversary instead. Valen-what you ask? Valenversary. Gil and I met on February 15th so we choose to celebrate that day instead of the traditional Valentine’s Day holiday. Get it? Valen-versary. I know, we are complete dorks and we are ok with that.

For weeks now I had planned to write this open letter to my husband on our special day. I have thought about the things I wanted to say and I even made some notes along the way.  I struggle with choosing words that say what I feel. I have a really hard time expressing my emotions with written words. This is one of the reasons I wanted to start a blog. I thought the exercise of writing daily would help me to move past whatever it is that blocks my ability to convey my sentiments outside of my head. I also realize from my blogging experiences that I have a really long way to go.

For every momentous occasion in our lives that call for a greeting card, Gil always writes the most beautiful words to me. And what do I do? I sign, “I love you”.  That’s the best I can do. Really, it is. I have the worst case of greeting card anxiety ever recorded. Ok, maybe I’m the only one so I guess that makes my last statement a very accurate one.  I don’t know why the words won’t come but they don’t.  And guess what? They aren’t coming for me now either. I was off to a great start and then I lost it. It was just gone. I am going to save what I started because if the words ever find their way back to me, I feel like it’s going to be a great post. But in the meantime, I still want to tell my husband how I feel on our special day.

While researching quotes for the blog I was going to write today, I found this poem by a man that may or may not have ever existed. His name may or may not be Roy Croft.  After reading the poem, I think maybe I wrote it in a previous life. Maybe I used up all my good words in some former iteration of myself and that’s why I struggle today. I know, I’m being silly but the truth is, this poem says everything I want to say.  Just because the words aren’t mine doesn’t mean I don’t feel what they say. So, here it is, an open letter to my husband, for our Valenversary.  

Dear Gil,

I love you,
Not only for what you are,
But for what I am
When I am with you.

I love you,
Not only for what
You have made of yourself,
But for what
You are making of me.

I love you
For the part of me
That you bring out;
I love you
For putting your hand
Into my heaped-up heart
And passing over
All the foolish, weak things
That you can’t help
Dimly seeing there,
And for drawing out
Into the light
All the beautiful belongings
That no one else had looked
Quite far enough to find.

I love you because you
Are helping me to make
Of the lumber of my life
Not a tavern
But a temple
Out of the works
Of my every day
Not a reproach
But a song.

I love you
Because you have done
More than any creed
Could have done
To make me good
And more than any fate
Could have done
To make me happy.
You have done it
Without a touch,
Without a word,
Without a sign.
You have done it
By being yourself.
Perhaps that is what
Being a friend means,
After all.

You came into my life six years ago today and filled a void in my heart that I didn’t even know existed. Thank you for rescuing me. Thank you for being my best friend.
I love you.

Posted in BlogSwap, Post A Day Challenge

Share The Love Blog Swap

Last week my husband and fellow blogger, Gil Gonzalez, suggested that a group of us write about something we are passionate about and guest post on each other’s blogs for Valentine’s Day. Jeff Smith, of GetYourHeadOutOfYourAss, is the special guest blogger on my site today. I hope you enjoy reading what he’s passionate about. I know I did!

Ahhh Valentines day.  The one day of the year that is dedicated to passion and love.  When I was invited to write a guest blog about what I am passionate about, it left me shaking my head.  Considering that I have been told that at times I am very squirrel like, running to and fro at a maddening pace, it goes without saying that I have a myriad of things that I am passionate about.

Surfing, home renovation, exercising, and kart racing are only a few of the things I have been VERY passionate about.  Allow me to explain my use of the word VERY.

When I am in surfing mode, I am in the water at daybreak, walked across the street to work, and then hit the water again after work until dark, usually spending 20 hours or more in the water each week, always at the same spot at the same beach.  Karting mode leads to lots of work on the kart, spending 10 hours per week meticulously setting it up for the local track that I always race at which lead to several wins and a track championship.  Exercising can absorb 1-2 hours per day every day in the spare bedroom which was set up as a gym.  And watch out when I start renovating a room as that is a non-stop whirlwind of activity until the job is finished.

So you might be thinking, damn, this guy is busy!  No.  I wrapped myself up in one of my passions so much, that I completely forgot about all of the other things I loved in life until, after doing the same thing over and over and over for months on end, I would grow bored and loose the passion.  The surfboards would sit in the corner for months, until a catalyst came along and caused me to get back in the water again, starting the cycle all over.  Surf, get bored, move to renovation, get bored, move to exercise, get bored, move to kart racing, get bored, move to surfing, get bored, rinse and repeat.

During all of this I learned a valuable lesson.  People are not surfboards.  Nor are they hammers, jump ropes, or kart engines.  When you loose the passion in a relationship, you can not just put your partner in the corner, knowing that they will still be there in a few months when you are ready to pick them back up and play with them again.  Yet like anything else in life, the passion that you feel for someone can fade if you don’t keep things fresh and exciting.  I have a divorce to show for it.

Most relationships start out with excitement and passion, but it inevitably fades as the months go on and your life together melds into one big blob and becomes routine.  Sometimes that takes years to occur, but sometimes it only takes months.

Here on Valentine’s Day, hopefully you find yourself spending time with the one you love, feeling the love and passion that is in the air on this special day for lovers.  Like many couples, you may have planned something special on this day or purchased something special for each other, which brings about a certain excitement.  But what about next week?  Six months from now?  How about 5 years from now?  Will you still feel the passion and excitement?

On that note, I would like to propose a special challenge for today.  Don’t just buy your partner dinner or flowers, but do something that will last beyond the indigestion and moldy water left in the vase after the flowers have perished.  Make a pact with them.

Promise to each other and to yourself to work towards keeping the passion alive.  Change things up.  Make plans to get away for the weekend at certain times each year.  Go explore something that is new to each of you.  Take on a shared hobby.  Play together.  Have fun.  Keep your passion alive!

I encourage you to check out the other bloggers involved in our Share The Love Blog Swap. They are Gil Gonzalez, Kim Randall, Lindsey Goodall and Regina Verow.

Posted in Post A Day Challenge

Crazy Love

On Friday I was reading one of my favorite blogs, Mommy Wants Vodka, written by Aunt Becky.  The particular blog post I was reading was about some crazy love letters Aunt Becky’s  friend had received in college.  Well, I, too, received one such letter and I can’t think of a better time to share it with you than Valentine’s Day Eve.

I had been seeing this guy for a few weeks when he showed up at my job on Valentine’s Day 2005 with this letter and a basket filled with goodies. He hugged and kissed me, wished me a happy Valentine’s Day and was gone, leaving me to read the letter and explore the basket on my own. THANK GAWD!!!

Dear Miss Lee,

When Hallmark can’t get it right, speak from your heart. Such a short time has passed and there is the realization that you’re a very special lady. My mind is stayed upon you, and my heart misses you when your away.  There is a strength that comes from you I have seen in no other, a fortitude to prevail inspite of circumstances. So much to be said about what I see. It would not be justifiable to settle for just flowers, a card, and a kiss.

Ok, he got major point deductions for the misspelled words and sentence fragments. And did you catch the part earlier where I said we had been seeing each other for a few WEEKS??? Not months or years, but WEEKS.  Oh but wait, it gets better. Here’s where the fun begins.

Each of the items contained in this basket are a representation of what I wish for you and us, should you decide I am worthy of all that you are. Flowers – like your heart, in all of their spendor & beauty be handled delicately, lovingly, so that they would ever bloom with vibrancy of life.

Yes, he did include a lovely bouquet of fresh cut flowers. Promising.

Words of encouragement when life seems to be a bit more of a struggle: STRIVE for all that is right in life and you will be blessed above all of those cut corners and don’t consider the end result of their ways! TEAMWORK – the cohesion that will bring us closer in times of trouble.

You know those motivational posters you see hanging in offices around the world, yeah, that’s what he gave me. One that said Strive and one that said Teamwork. Nice 8×10 suckers, too. Uhuh, those went right up on my office wall. NOT!

Gum – that you may always know the freshness of the air of life.

I think it was a pack of Jucy Fruit, my favorite, of course. Hubby thinks this guy was trying to tell me that I had bad breath.

Bandages – that the wounds of the past would be healed and the scars would be rememberances of lessons learned, also they will help the kitty scratches go away.

There were not your run of the mill, generic bandages. These were infused with Neosporin to speed the healing. Fancy stuff! And indeed, they did help the kitty scratches heal faster.  And the paper cuts.  It’s funny how I seemed to always associate him with scabby wounds after that day.

Perfume – that you may always be a sweet aroma to those that encounter your life, and be changed by it.

HUH? And yeah, it was some cheap body splash from CVS, too. And what the heck was wrong with my aroma in the first place.

Nutrition bar – that you may always stay healthy as to enjoy longevity, the world needs you.

I have no words for this one.

Chapstick – I just love your soft lips and the Florida sun is harsh on one’s skin.

Does anyone still use actual Chapstick anymore?

Razors – that you may always have a smooth path for me.

WTF????

Deoderant – that others would want you around.

Maybe hubby is right and I had an issue with my personal hygiene back then. More misspelling deductions.

Wine and beer- that we would share and always know the joys and frivolity of life.

A Bud Light and screw top single serve bottle of wine does not exactly scream romance.

I appreciate that I can share my heart with you as a friend and my soul with you as a lover. Lee, thank you for allowing me the chance to win you. I will always give you my best and never fail or faulter. My hope is that you will mark this momentous occasion, in your heart and mind knowing that this is one of those life altering moments that could be a beginning!
Sincerely a man who desires your heart,

So? Did you all just throw up in your mouths a little bit?  I bet you did.  And believe it or not, this guy was FOR REALS. He had been building up this gift for days. And let me tell you, when he dropped it off at my office that morning, he was quite pleased with himself. But really?!? Are there women out there who would actually fall for this madness? Please tell me no. I can tell you for sure that I am not one of them. Mr. Crazy Love was steadfastly kicked to the curb.

The good news is that whatever aromatic issues I had at the time must have worked themselves out because when I met Gil, the next day I might add, he didn’t seem to have any problems at all with my aromas.

(39/365)

(39/365)