Posted in Post A Day Challenge

Mean Girls

Poor Natalie. Today she got schooled in the way of the bitches. It’s such a hard lesson for a middle schooler, but a lesson we all learned. You know it’s true. We are bitches. We are catty and mean to each other for no apparent reason. And this seems to happen around the time we enter middle school. It’s like a switch flips inside our little female brains that tells us to do evil to each other. I talked to a couple of friends today and they confirmed that middle school was that difficult time for them as well. When I was younger we were known as pre-teens but I really like today’s terminology of Tween to describe this age group. It really is a developmental stage caught in between childhood and early adulthood and for me, these years were the most difficult I can ever remember experiencing.

I remember the first time I realized my friends were lying to me. One girlfriend was going out of town for the weekend and had invited me to join her and a third friend. Woohoo, we’re going to the beach! Lucky me! The night before we were to leave I received a call from friend #1 to say that her parents told her she could not bring any friends along. I was disappointed but ok with that. I called friend #2 to wallow in our sorrows together. The problem was that friend #2 wasn’t wallowing at all. She was packing. That was an ouchie that hurt for a long time.

I had a chance to talk to Natalie about what happened today. She was mad. Really mad. I asked if she was going to talk to her friends about what happened and she said no. Apparently this isn’t the first time these two so called friends have been mean to her so she knows from experience that talking to them won’t help the situation. At 11 years old, she’s already realized some very harsh truths about how her friends behave. She said she’s been with one when that one was saying bad things about the other so she knows they talk about her when she’s not with them. This is so sad. I wanted to hug her but she had her game face on and I could tell she was happy just venting so I let her do that. She even said to me that she didn’t think she wanted to be friends with them anymore. The sad thing is these are her two best friends and have been for years.

I shared my little story with her and she laughed at me and said my story was way worse than hers. I’m really happy to see that she’s not letting it get her down. She said she was going to be silently angry and just not hang around them, which made me a little happy on the inside. Now that I know what these girls have been doing to her this year, I’m fairly relieved. But, I also know that the female of our species is fickle. We change our minds like we change our underwear. And, we easily forgive. I expect to hear stories soon about the things these three girls have been up to. However, I think that Natalie is going to be a bit more cautious going forward. Unfortunately, for each of these two girls, there are dozens more just like them. My hope for Natalie is that she finds that one real girl who will be her true friend.

I hope that his little talk tonight helps Natalie realize that, in addition to her mom and dad, I’m here to listen and help when she needs it. I wanted to tell her about all the beautiful friendships she will form throughout the coming years but I think tonight, she just wanted to be mad. I completely get that and saw more than a few similarities in our personalities tonight. I hope that my understanding of her feelings and my experiences will help me be the friend and adviser she will need as she continues through life. I hope that tonight was the first of many heart to hearts shared between friends.

Ok, now it’s time to share. Tell me your worst middle school story. I know you have some and I want to hear them. Mostly, I want to know that I wasn’t alone and I want to be able to tell Natalie that she’s not alone in this either.

(36/365)

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Author:

Animal lover, music junkie, wife of @danaCreative. I'm on a mission to find my authentic self. Love supporting worthy charities and causes however I can.

6 thoughts on “Mean Girls

  1. Definately had a girlfriend in 7th grade who turned basically our entire 7th grade class against me bc I accodentally told her I had a crush on the same guy as her. 4 months worth of eating lunch at the track by myself sucked…then I got tired of being alone and made new friends LOL.

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  2. All I can say is bless her heart but she sounds strong and confident which is so hard at that age. My worse story, in grade school everyone was friends with everyone for the most part then it happens MIDDLE SCHOOL. There was a group of about 6 of us that hung out all the time, slumber parties, skating, etc. Somehow I was in that group but as we entered into 7th grade the Sesame Street song, “One of these things is not like the other” began to play in my head frequently. I was the tomboy, they were the cheerleaders. Anyhow, I remember the Monday that all my friends were talking about what a good time they had at “Jane’s” slumber party that weekend and boys crashed it and I wasn’t invited. It changed the way I looked at them and myself. The good thing about it, I started hanging out with someone new and to this day she is still my very best friend. Not to age myself but that was almost 30 years ago. So thanks!!

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    1. Teresa, that is horrible. I remember a few Monday’s like that. I once had a friend from K-6th grade who pretended she didn’t even know me when we switched schools for 7th grade. That was a hard one to get over. Congrats to you for finding that special friend. That is awesome.

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  3. Oh, yeah, Middle School. somehow I survivied with my best friend at my side. She became a judge. M-M-m? did middle schoole perpare her for that? Maybe.
    My 3 kids got out alive. Now I have grandkids.
    The worst story I was involved in..I’m not saying names or my part. (Oh, I’m not the mean one, Nor are rmy girls.) One nieghbor girl got mad at the other. So, she went up to a group of foot ball player saying, “___has gen—al warts.” (Go ti?)
    The victim daughter was upset and told her mom. That mom went to the mean girl’s mom and said, “this is the last straw. Do you know wht your daughter did?”
    It turns out that the mean girl had no idea what those things were. To top that off her father had them. The mean girl’s mom finally did something about her daughter’s behavior. When asked why she did something so horrible the mean girl responded, “I was mad.” Like that made it OKAY?

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    1. Oh, that is a terrible story. I think this reiterates my point that ‘tween’ is the best word for this age group. They are stuck somewhere between childlike emotions/reactions and being more exposed to adult language and situations through society, and they just have no idea what to do with this. I didn’t. It sounds like the girl in your story didn’t either. It’s so sad. This is the age that children begin separating themselves from their parents and expressing and enjoying more independance. This is sad because this is a time when the lines of communications should be the most open so we as parents, step-parents, guardians, mentors, teachers and the like can offer advice or even explanations for what the kids are seeing, feeling, and experiencing. My hope is that Natalie, my step-daughter, knows she can come to me even if she’s not comfortable goiong to her parents. I would have loved someone like that in my life at that age.

      Thank you so much for reading and commenting. I truly appreciate it.

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