Posted in Post A Week Challenge, Treasure Chest

Monday’s Treasure Chest – It’s YOU!

I missed my Monday Treasure Chest post last week because we were traveling back from St. George and Rock by the Sea, and honestly, when we finally got home, I completely crashed. The last thing I wanted to do was sit in front of the computer and think. However, on the drive home, I was contemplating about what the post would be about if I actually found the energy needed to write, which I obviously did not. As I thought about my many blessings, one kept coming back to the forefront of my mind. I found myself smiling with joy each time I thought about my most recent discovery in that chest.

My treasure chest has been overflowing lately with blessing of you. Yes, you, there, reading these words. I am so honored and humbled that you’ve taken time out of your busy days or nights to check out what I have to say. I am even more grateful when you tell me about it. Recently, I’ve been left completely speechless and crying tears of delight because of the compliments you guys have given to me.

I had wanted to start a blog for a really long time but my fears kept telling me it would not work.  Once I finally decided to just go for it, I was so blessed by the fact that Gil was there every second of the way offering words of encouragement, praise, and guidance. I could not have gotten this far without him. I, also, could not have done this if not for you and the amazing, sweet, wonderful feedback you have been providing me for months now.

I recently received an email from someone I love and cherish very much. This email left me in tears for hours. These weren’t sad tears but tears of joy and a sudden awareness that I’m doing exactly what I should be doing with this blog. I’m writing about what I feel, what I want, what I need and what I love. I’m trying to say things here that maybe I’ve been too ashamed or afraid to say out loud. It’s strange how I know this is the most public way possible to share my innermost thoughts but something about it also seems so anonymous, and that makes it less scary. I know, that makes no sense to anyone outside of my crazy little brain, but it’s how I feel. I’ve felt demons inside of me start to die and disappear. I’ve felt portions of my soul, which I thought were dead, start to rise again. I’ve felt closer to God than I have since childhood.

When I started writing back on January 1st, I had big plans and big dreams for how this project would progress. After 30 days of writing every day, I had proven to myself that I could do it and all the fears I had simply faded away. You guys were reading and commenting and telling me that you liked what I had to say.  You were telling me that my words touched you and you told me how you felt the same way but couldn’t find the words to say the things I was saying.  I was flying pretty high and very satisfied with what I had accomplished when February rolled around. But then, I began to fail myself. I began to find reasons not to write as often.

I don’t know what happened. I blamed work, kids, exhaustion. All of the same things that were there in January but I somehow managed to still make the time for me and for this blog. I still thought about writing every day but I could never find the motivation I needed to sit down and type. What really sucks is that the motivation was there, I just kept ignoring it, kept pushing it aside and giving something else a higher priority. You guys kept providing the motivation I needed in the form of conversations and emails, comments and feedback, and questions about when I would post again. I don’t know why I let my dream start slipping away, but I did. I feel ashamed and thoroughly disappointed with myself.

“Where you invest your love, you invest your life.”

~Mumford and Sons

As I sit here and write, I think about all the things I want for this piece of my world. I want to tell my tale and find out more about myself, but there is so much more I want. I want to share my experiences with you. I want to grow in my faith in God with you. I want to talk about my marriage, both the good and sometimes not so good parts of it. I want to share both the uplifting and heartbreaking stories that have made me the woman I am today. I want to open myself up to you in an effort to share who I really am and who I really want to be.

I am going to pour my heart and soul into this dream of mine. I am going to love and nurture it with every ounce of passion I have. Maybe if I do those things, and do them honestly, maybe you can find some piece of my life and experiences that inspire you.  Maybe you won’t make some of the mistakes I’ve made. Maybe you’ll find some peace within yourself because my words helped to heal an old wound. Maybe you will find the inspiration you have been looking for to pursue your own dream because you see my courage in the pursuit of mine. My main objective with my writing is still to find my authentic self. But how awesome would it be if I play a very small part in helping you to find your authentic self as well?

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Author:

Animal lover, music junkie, wife of @danaCreative. I'm on a mission to find my authentic self. Love supporting worthy charities and causes however I can.

13 thoughts on “Monday’s Treasure Chest – It’s YOU!

  1. I think back to that night in February of 2005 when the all the flags went off in your head and you decided to ignore them. Thank you for doing that. If you hadn’t, who knows where I’d be. One thing’s for certain, however. I would not have been able to see you grow into this giving and caring woman you are today. That’s not to say you weren’t caring and giving when we first met, but I’ve seen your perspective shift from one that was internal to one that is greatly external. I’ve seen your eyes open to the idea of giving and the question of ‘what can I do for others?’. You continue to inspire me with all you do, and I am just so thankful and blessed you said ‘Si’. You will forever be my treasure chest.

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  2. Lee, your writing is beautiful. And vulnerable. And that is so appealing. I love the journey you are on. And look forward to the lessons you’ll share with us : )

    And Gil… what a love-filled comment. Very moving, the two of you. Can’t wait to get to know you both. Cheers! …Deb

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  3. Lee,

    You are an amazing woman doing/giving amazing things of yourself 🙂 – Pouring your heart/soul/mind in to your/our (because we can all relate) is amazing – Thank You for giving us so much of yourself – Can’t wait to see and catch up with you soon enough! – Hugs, love,

    Cate

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  4. Hi Lee… I’m so glad Deb shared your blog with me – It’s Great 🙂

    I told Miss “Stewart” that she had to go read your “Who is Leelee” post… reminds me of a similar conversation that we had and it made me laugh…

    I’m with that “wonderful, progressive thinking” husband of yours…. you are who you are regardless of the fine print and I wouldn’t change a thing!

    Thanks again for sharing Lee…

    I’m looking forward to reading more of your journey ~ John

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    1. John,
      You and Deb are amazing. Thank you for the comments and for checking out my blog. And a big thanks to Deb for sharing it with you. I am looking forward to reading more of your site tonight when I get home.

      I never had any idea that post about my name would be so popular but it turns out I’m not the only one who has struggled with that decision. I have gotten a lot of feedback on that one. I would love to hear about the conversation you guys had on that topic. 🙂

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  5. I thank God we share the same blood and have an inseverable bond and connection. You are one of the most sincere people alive today. This I know well. Even your readers have the sight to see though the typed words to your core honesty. People feel this and they instinctively trust and admire you. You inspire. Your writings of your life’s journey has left me in tears on many occasions, touching deep within my heart. Innately, you have mastered art of injecting feeling and familarity into your words that so many writers lack.
    I read your words, even the cute, candid, daily dialog and my heart feels good inside. Somewhat innocent. It makes me miss you terribly and wish there were more people like you in this world.
    You are are starting to walk in the footsteps of another great woman in our family. I know that she is very proud of you as she looks down upon us all from God’s table in Glory.
    I love you Lee Ann.

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