Did you celebrate or commemorate your divorce or a significant breakup?
Tonight’s prompt is such an odd prompt, don’t you think? Did I celebrate my divorce? Honestly, I can’t remember, but I don’t think I did. Was I sad about it. No. Was there cause for celebration? No, not really. My ex-husband and I were married in our very early 20’s and I still had so much growing up to do. When we made the decision to divorce, it wasn’t done in anger or rage or sadness or even confusion. We were great friends and even better roommates, but this does not make a successful marriage.
When I was younger and throughout my teen years, I knew I wanted something other than life in a small town and with starry eyed young love, I just pushed those feelings deep down in the crevices of my heart. Love blinded me. About 12 years into our relationship, I remembered what I had buried and I told him the truth, that I wanted something different, and he graciously agreed to a separation. Within weeks, we knew it was time for both of us to move on.
Our separation was very strange for a lot of people. We continued to live together until I could afford to move out. We started dating other people and I even set him up with a friend. We compared dating stories and spoke often on the phone. There was no resentment and neither of us tried to hang onto a relationship that had just run it’s course. We managed to hold onto this friendship for a while, but I made some bad decisions that ultimately had a very negative effect on him. My immaturity and selfishness cost me my dear friend. For that, I will always be sad.
When I look back now, with a view rooted deeply in faith, I feel a little shame. The bible is very clear on divorce. God does not like nor approve of divorce, except in special circumstances and none of the reasons I dissolved my marriage met those circumstances.
“For I hate divorce!” says the LORD, the God of Israel. “To divorce your wife is to overwhelm her with cruelty,*” says the LORD of Heaven’s Armies. “So guard your heart; do not be unfaithful to your wife.” Malachi 2:16
As much as I know that divorcing my ex-husband was displeasing to God, I also believe that it was part of God’s plan for me. When I was with my ex-husband, God was barely an afterthought in my life. Had I stayed in that relationship, I would not have the relationship I have with Him today.
Had I stayed in that marriage, I wouldn’t have met the man who would become my husband and best friend. Gil has been such an influence on me in my faith journey. He is the strong, spiritual leader of our family, and he is a faithful encourager to me. Without him and his heart for God, I might very well still be lost and wandering.
Did I celebrate my divorce? I guess you could say that I do now. Even with the shame of disappointing God, I’m sure my divorce was the first step on my path back to God. And I have to believe He is pleased with that.